My final entry…

Hello, my dear readers!

I have an annoucement to make today: I will no longer be blogging on dersanktspeaks.wordpress.com. In fact, I’m moving to http://blog.benvess.com

Rather than making my life complicated by having several websites in several locations trying to maintain them, I decided to put it all in one website. benvess.com. blog is there, along with my photoblog and my portfolio!

I’ve written my first entry in the new blog–the subject: transgendered deaf college student on TV!

Comments and stuff has been transferred to my new blog.

For comments/discussions on this post click here

Mwahs to you all,
Der Sankt

For Cho Seung-Hui’s Parents…

After seeing the news today about what’s going on, I can only imagine a small portion of what you are feeling right now. No parent should go through this. I truly do hope in all this media frenzy, you do have support and comfort. I’m sure you’re wracked with guilt, wondering what you did wrong, thinking you raised a beautiful, successful son…

I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your dreams of having grandchildren running around your house is now shattered. I’m really sorry that you had to find out along with millions other Americans the horrorfic side of your child. You probably do not know the boy they are portraying, he wasn’t the son you knew. I’m sorry that the media and the nation has put a tremendous responsibility on you guys for the 33 grieving families. I know you’re grieving as just badly as them. I’m sorry this happened. My heart goes out to you.

Do know this: it is not your fault.

We failed him. The system we established, the schools, his peers, the government, and everyone else failed him. I don’t believe that parents ever want to see their children as mentally ill, a danger to others…In fact, I don’t. If anything, you guys would be the last to know. We, on the other hand, were the first to know. We had ways to help. We, as a society, could have done our proper duty and helped him.

In that, we failed.

I believe you are victims just like the rest of them. Your lives has been changed, just like them. What went wrong, then? We failed to help. You did everything to raise a successful young man in America. His being in Virginia Tech, being a senior and all proves that. It’s not your fault.

As for all of the victims involved. I wish that you will have all the support and comfort you need through this. The entire nation is here for you guys. I pray that everyone will find peace.

bisous,
Der Sankt

Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University

Right now, I’m in Virginia Beach and the incident at Virginia Tech has been nothing but crazy lately. President Bush came to the University and offered his sympathies. Quite powerful words too: “It’s impossible to make sense of such violence and suffering. Those whose lives were taken did nothing to deserve their fate. They were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Now they’re gone — and they leave behind grieving families, and grieving classmates, and a grieving nation.”

But, Mr. President, how dare you? Really, how?

My heart goes out to the 3,311 families you have destroyed, Mr President. My heart goes out to the troops out there in the Middle East fighting a war based on lies, fearing for their lives , day after day. What about the 61,728-67,703 Iraqi families that suffered the loss of a loved one–are they not humans too? Do they not feel grief as we do?

Perhaps today should be a defining moment for America–we now finally understand what it is like to feel fear in the safest of places. I’m sure there are families in Iraq fearing for their lives in their own homes. Iraqis killing Iraqis. Americans killing Iraqis. Iraqis killing America. Like Mr. President said, “It’s impossible to make sense of such violence and suffering. Those whose lives were taken did nothing to deserve their fate.”

A small bunch of terrorists should not cause this much chaos in a nation’s well-being. Indeed 9-11 happened; but, think of it–Columbine happened, Oklahoma City, the KKK, Neo-Nazis, Kent State, the list goes on. They were Americans. Born and raised here, in the very heart of our communities.

Where’s the military? Why aren’t the groups that the guys were involved with not wiped out. After what happened at Virginia Tech–should we invade South Korea now? Hang their leaders and establish no government so chaos can continue? Let’s get back at them, yes?

Mr. President, you had no business coming down to Virginia and use this as a Public Relations tool to appear as the sympathising President. You’re no better than Cho Seung-Hui. You’ve condemned over 64,000 lives. And for what?

Now, wasn’t it that you said when a bill comes to your desk requesting the withdrawal of troops you will “veto it.” How many more lives, Mr. President? How do you sympathize with the grieving families at Virginia Tech if you can’t symphathize for the 64,000-plus (and still counting) that’s been lost?

This was a truly tragic event. I should hope it will never happen again. I hope everyone there will find peace again. Me heart goes out to you guys.

Mr. President, don’t ever come back and insult them again.

bisous,

Der Sankt

Where were you?

Today, I’m going to share something personal. Ridor brought this to me attention with this statement, “A part of me knew she is guilty. But a part of me did not like the idea that she was judged by a group of hearing individuals. Where is the real justice in this? (see complete entry).” Justice, you ask, Ridor?

Unusual, don’t you think?

A few years ago, while I was a student at Gallaudet University, my father was arrested. I’m sure if you investigate into this, you’ll be able to find out all the details; but, that is not what I want to get into. My father pleaded “Not guilty,” in a Virginia Beach court. He was being tried for a felony.

All hearing jury. Where were you guys?

I do not sympathize for Wright at all. She is now a convicted felon. Her rights? Hah, we should be busy focusing on other things. How many innocent Deaf people are in the court systems? How many of them are getting interpreters? Who cares about the jury line up. A friend told me this, “It’s not important whether or not the jury can understand the person’s background–it matters only that the jury understands the law.”

Come to think of it, I agree. With this claim, you are paving way for sociopaths to say “I want a jury of MY peers.” A sociopath. Uhm.

Because Wright happened to fall into many different minorities. Black, Woman, Lesbo, fat, not black enough, too Deaf, not smart, but smart, oh whatever. Let’s cut the bullshit here. If I remember correctly, I was taught througout my life, in both, residental schools and mainstreamed programs that there are always consequences to your actions.

Think.

No, really, think.

People don’t just kill people on a daily basis. This is not smoking marijuana. This is not DUI. This is murder. Now, with the hubublazoo going on around about fair trial…I’m beginning to think this about the people who are claiming it might be unfair–

A murderer deserves more rights and attention than a drug dealer, than petty thieves? Child molesters? If you are going to defend Wright’s rights then you should defend them all. Not just the special cases. National Deaf organizations were smart enough not to touch this until they did.

I cannot comprehend the logic of having a murderer getting a fair trial…a Drug dealer? Fuck it, let them serve their time and behave when they get out? Hah. If anything, this should be the beginning of the Deaf community’s backing on every accused Deaf persons in the court systems. If this was an exceptional case…

You don’t have time to go through every one of them in the nation–then i’d suggest you leave the “fair trial” claim alone. Trust the Justice system to do it correctly. After all, if you can’t now, why should you from this point and on?

bisous,
Der Sankt

A New Language?

My mother brought to my attention this morning about People Sign Language by Melissa Regas and I read BEG’s Follow-up Thoughts on that. I found a quote that was a bit disturbing coming from Melissa:

“I learned late and socialize with many hearing people…As an artist I thought about sign language and when my friends and I were learning it we talked about how funny and old fashion it was that man was the top half while female was the lower half.”

As a ‘deaf’ person who is absolutely interested in deaf culture and ASL would know this, first and foremost, making fun of American Sign Language–the primary mode of communication of 25% of the Deaf community–with your hearing peers, discussing with them the discrepancies of ASL is a sure-fire way to get gunned down by the community. Adding insult to an injury, I believe, Melissa tried to hide behind ‘art’ and create a language, of which she has no proficiency at whatsoever–because if she did and had any respect for ASL as an independent language, she wouldn’t sign almost exactly english and claim it as ASL. By watching Melissa, I can see how painfully uncomfortable signing was for her.

I’ve read and listened to her arguments. here is mine: In English, “woman” is derived from “man.” There isn’t any attempts in trying to separate the two words. I’m sure historically, the words had certain reasons behind them that wouldn’t be acceptable nowadays. But no, Melissa, you chose to attack a language you barely know.

You have no lingusitic expertise. None whatsoever.

I, too, am an artist. There are limits as to what you can claim as art. Creating a language that is more “neutral” than the language it’s derived from falls not in the artistic category but in the philosophy and lingusitics fields. Then Melissa goes on to say this:

“It is funny because many deaf people discriminate against me more than hearing people. I find that ironic and it hurts my spirit. I don’t want to be a part of a community that won’t allow me to express new ideas. Or we will never move forward. I am deaf and I am proud of it.”

How offensive. The discrimination is not from the community. Melissa decided to take the ignorant route. She did not do her research, making sure that her idea has been tried before–why it did not succeed and how to avoid the same missteps. How dare she say that she values ASL and her being “deaf” (it appears that she has no understanding of the grammatical and culutral impact of little d and big D in the word, DEAF) and not do any research on it, not socialize with the Deaf community, share the ideas with them in person, have bullsessions with experts in ASL, Melissa might learn a thing or two…

12 years of English in American schools indicate that English is not an easy langauge to master. Native speakers still have difficulties understanding it entirely and continue to make mistakes. After a few years of learning ASL, Melissa claims to understand it as well as she does with English.

Interesting.

The last I checked. It took me nearly as long for me to be fluent in ASL as it did for me in English. Both are equally complex languages rich in history both good and bad. To criticize a new language Melissa learned and try to rectify the little “inappropriateness” of it without taking a good look at her native language and see what similarities it has with ASL in terms of how and why the words were created.

I think I’ve rambled on quite a bit, here. I’ll hush up.

That was my two-cents,
Der Sankt.

Next up–my thoughts on Ridor’s new Poll

75% of the Deaf Community…

While I was visiting my family and old haunts in Virginia, I came across a bunch of old publications from NAD (Deafness: Life and Culture–A Deaf American Monograph. 1994. Vol. 44.) and there was an article that caught my eye: “On Signing with a Hearing Accent.” by Laurel E. Glass and Holly H Elliott. This was an article about deaf persons in this country who became deafened as adults.

According to their research and statistics, 75% of the deaf persons became deafened as adults. 3/4 of the deaf community.

One of the first things I’d like to address about the research is the term, “loss.” The article states, “The key word…is ‘loss.’ Loss is not benign. Loss is associated with grief. Loss is associated with difference. In the case of hearing, it is associated with the loss of a part of oneself which has been taken for granted since infancy.” This is interesting because when I was growing up, in residental Deaf schools, being Deaf was part of my identity. It enabled me to see the world differently. Sound had a different meaning, different importance.

I grew up in an environment where I learned how to think “Deaf.” Their research points out, “When a hearing person ‘becomes’ deaf or ‘becomes’ hard of hearing, they continue to ‘think hearing…’ Why can’t the deafened learn ASL and integrate into the Deaf community? Partly because very little in their life experience has prepared them for that transition.” Come to think of it, it makes sense. Being in a Deaf school, I learned how to understand my Deafness and learn how to use it. I am fortunate to be one of the 25% of the Deaf community, growing up prepared for the obstacles that might come my way in the future. Learning to advocate for myself, knowing my rights, etc.

So, from these little statements in their research, I’ve come to the conclusion that the implications there say, “75% of the deaf community, in the eyes of the medical community, went to the doctors asking to restore hearing so that their lives can be back to ‘normal.’ Okay, the truth be told, it now makes sense why they see the 25% of the community who fiercely fight for the “inability to hear” as odd, weirdly fanatical…

Wow, statistics are not cute. That’s why I never liked math.

But wait, that’s not it, how many of us actually go to the doctor and have our hearings checked every year? Honestly? So, these doctors never see the culturally Deaf people until they need SSI and it’s a once in a lifetime thing? I can see why they find it hard to believe that there is a large healthy Deaf population out there without the constant need of “repairing” their hearing and that the ASL community is growing more than ever… We never see them.

When we’re sick! We will; but different kind of doctors…

When I see the number: “75%;” I feel, wow, we, Deaf people, are truly a minority within a minority. But there is a little ray of hope in that research. A powerful one, I believe. “Once a deafened person has acknowledged his or her hearing loss, existing strengths can be utilized intentionally to supplement the changed ability to understand others’ speech. Only then can the deafened person begin looking for ways to use the hearing loss as a positive factor.” In 1994, among the 75% of the deaf community, there was a crude understanding of “Deafhood.”

The interesting thing is that the research did not say that restoring hearing was the best means for late deafened adults to adjust to their disability. In fact, what the research says is that in identifying the Deaf in you, you’ll strengthen your abilities to work around that and become a normally functioning person in society. So, this is what I’m seeing here–the 25% of the community has the “idea” (Deafhood) that works for 100% of the community and yet…

There is a clash between that 25% and the other 75%. Why is that?

Should NAD be advocates for organizations that help late deafened adults perhaps by providing Deaf Culture workshops, ASL workshops, etc targeting the audience that consist of 75% of the deaf community? I’m curious really, of all the late deafened adults out there, those who call themselves “Deaf” and are fluent in ASL–how did you do that? What were your defining points? How can your experience help other late deafened adults into feeling comfortable with the Deaf community?

Bisous,
Der Sankt

Must-See TV tonight!!!!

After much rumor and anticipation – NBC has made it official!

Law & Order: Criminal Intent is featuring an episode called “The Silencer”,
starring a talent-heavy cast of Deaf actors, including:

Deanne Bray
Alexandria Wailes
Garrett Zuercher
Darren Frazier
Hillary Baack
Willy Conley
Raymond Luczak

Adding to the excitement, NBC broke history by hiring the most Deaf extras (35 people, myself included!) for a network TV episode.

Please tune in to your local NBC provider on Tuesday, April 3rd at 9pm to watch the exciting bullet-ridden drama unfold!

Also, if you plan to watch this episode with a group of friends, please, please, please turn your TV on, or record the episode so the Nielsen ratings go through the roof! Then more Deaf actors will be asked back to work!

Tell your family and friends to tune in!

Support your friends! Support your acting community!

bisous,

Der Sankt!

Starting my Deafhood…

Today, I have had a couple of good conversations with a couple of friends about deafhood. I’ve not had the opportunity to read Paddy Ladd’s book and make my own analysis of his idea. I’ve read a couple of excerpts here and there on the internet, read broad interpretations of the book from Rainmount, Ella, etc. Also, I attended the deafhood workshop during the protests at Gallaudet University.

I still do not understand it completely. Correct me if I am wrong but my understanding is this: deafhood is a process of one’s self-realization and self-identity as a d/Deaf person, simply put.

After lengthy conversations, we decided to pose a question: “What does ‘DEAF’ mean?”

Seems like a simple question, yeah. “Deaf,” can’t hear. That’s the easy way out. We talked about that word in depth and noticed that the word changes meaning when in different contexts. And there isn’t really a comprehensive information on the nuances of the meaning of “DEAF.”

I did a small analysis of my own, based on my observations and experiences, in trying to understand the true definition of “DEAF.” In doing so, I categorized “DEAF” into three major sections: disability, linguistic, and cultural. Unfortunately, I cannot discuss them all in one posting; there is research to be done on my part in clarifying my philosophy. However, I decided to split this into a series of essays. The first one, in this posting, will present “DEAF” from the disability perspective.

This is the beginning of my deafhood. The first step into discovering my identity as a DEAF person–understanding the true definition of the word, “DEAF.”

In the beginning, so says the Bible, there was a voice that said, “Let there be light” (Genesis, first chapter); so, basically, sound came before vision. That wouldn’t surprise me, come to think of it: in science, when atoms merge, or collide, into each other, there must be sound; then, light comes out. Light reaches us first, though. Sound travels much slower. But this establishes the standard.

Sounds are to be heard.

It is abnormal not to hear sounds. This is the standard established by society. Anything that differs from this is abnormal. Abnormality, itself, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some abnormalities enhance and others take away. Deaf, according to the established standards, is an abnormality that takes away from a person’s well-being. Hence, the word, “disabled.”

Perhaps this is rooted in humans’ basic instincts of survival. Being able to hear increases one’s chances of survival. This has been proven repeatedly in nature. Unfortunately, in nature’s standards, humans are an abnormality. Humans, as abnormalities, take away from nature. Because of this simple abnormality, DEAF is no longer a handicap to survival but more of an inconvenience.

Some of the main reasons why I come to this conclusion are due to situations such as lack of interpreters, cutbacks on closed-captioning programs, advancements in the medical community on repairing hearing loss. Thus, disability became, simply put, a fancy word for “requiring additional accommodations.” Discrimination falls into that category—refusing to “add accommodations” to meet the disabled’s needs. This pushes the issue more closely to inconvenience than survival.

That’s what it is all about.

Every member of the DEAF community with all degrees of hearing loss requires “additional accommodations.” An old senior citizen with hearing loss at 70 years of age might need a hearing aid and read lips a little bit to get by. A hard of hearing person might need a stronger hearing aid and better lip reading skills. A bona-fide Deaf person will need an ASL interpreter. Again, every member will need some form of accommodation in order to fit in better with human standards.

Therefore, in a nutshell, DEAF from a disability perspective would mean an individual or a group of people requiring additional visual/audio accommodation when needed.

With that analysis, I’ve come to the conclusion that the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is an imposition of inconvenience in order to ensure equality. This is democracy at its finest.

Bisous,

Der Sankt

Gallaudet Protest Pictures

Complete gallery of photos Click Here (Sorry about the popups)

Do you want to know how photographers get rid of their old prints? lol..

Here’s how I get rid of mine: sometimes, I give them away to people who want them; but, most of the time i put them in a box and never think of them again. The other day I found a few of my Gallaudet Protest pictures–(see my photoblog 10/2006 for protest pictures) and I know I have tons more somewhere. Instead of putting them in a box of forgotten photos, I thought I’d give the Deaf community an opporturnity to snatch them out of my hands.

These pictures are the first set of photos I’ve printed from a Lab. I wanted to check out and be sure that the images came out correctly on print like they did on screen. They’re little 4×7 prints on matte with borders. All autographed and dated. As usual, a portion of the earnings will go to Gallaudet University Alumni Association funds. The asking price for each print is $2.

As you all can see, these photos are done professionally in a lab. And I have only one print of each image. If there’s a demand for it, I’ll print 8×10 photos of certain images (email me which photos of course) and add mattings, etc. We’ll see how this goes.

Complete gallery of photos Click Here (Sorry about the popups)

The unsold images will end up in my box of forgotten photos.

Bisous,
Der Sankt

New York Deaf Theatre is producing a show “Beyond Help” that’s showing on May 4th until May 20th! Come see it!

April 3rd Law and Order: CI. “The Silencer.” Deaf principal actors, deaf extras (me! along with a few others), deaf issues. Must see! April 3

Monday! The opening date to the Photo contest I’m hosting. Guidelines will be posted.

Absolut Lomo and Lomography

Lomo Negs

“PICTURES: That is what Lomography is all about. Nothing compares to the feeling of visually diving into a pool of shining, new, sweet-smelling lomographs. My pictures, your pictures, pictures of the world, pictures of fleeting moments, secret passions, boring brou-ha, left toes, blurred nothings. Simply everything.”
-Lomography.com

Lomo #1

On Monday morning, I wake up to see a package sitting in the middle of the living room with my name on the address. Uhm, I think I’ve finally gotten the cameras. A while ago, someone from Absolut Vodka sent me an email saying they really liked my photoblog and would like to have me be part of their ad campaign. Their current campaign is “Absolut Lomo” and it’s about Lomography. Lomography is a form of photography done with a toy camera (see www.lomography.com). Oddly enough, it’s a bit more complicated than a simple toy like its category says…

Lomo #2

I opened the package and felt a bit disappointed. There was a book, I thought perhaps reading it would help me understand a bit better. In the introduction of the book, the author, Adam Scott says: “My love affair began when I discovered the Lomographic Society International. They sold the Holga and I was intrigued by its contradiction in terms of a cheap medium format camera. As I opened the box and took the camera out, I thought I had been ripped off! It was too light and cameras were not meant to be this light. I shot a roll of film while taking a walk in London and there it was, the addiction had begun.”

Lomo #3

That was interesting I thought, I kept reading and reading until I finished the whole book. A new world opened before my eyes. This little toy is like the game of poker, easy to learn but hard to master. It can work with any kind of film, medium format, 35mm, or polaroid back. It takes snapshots. The camera can take multi-exposures. Different color flashs. Only two apertures and two shutter speeds. A bit limited in terms of function but after seeing all the lomographs in the book, it was not so limited. It’s a complicated little toy I guess.

Lomo #4

Remaining true to my deal with Absolut Vodka and their Lomo campaign, I’ve devised a photo contest. The grand prize is the Holga Camera Kit from Absolut Lomo. The camera has the Absolut logo on it too. I’m compiling a list of judges and asking them if they would like to particpate. The guidelines are being smoothed out. The contest will be open to all, for all ages. I have a couple of themes I havent decided on, yet. Take your cameras out and prepare for shooting, hahaha. The contest should open by Monday at the latest.

Lomo #5

More lomographs from my Holga to come with the Guidelines. Maybe I’ll explain a couple of things with each picture. Or you could also go to www.lomography.com or www.absolut.com/lomo for lomographs done by others all over the world!

Bisous,
Der Sankt

Some stuff

Hello everyone,

Again, I know, it has been a while since I’ve said (or done) something in the blogosphere. I’m sorry. I’m a bit crammed with photography. I updated my photoblog by the way. Oh yeah, I was thinking, because I have so many prints all over the place and I need to get rid of some, lol. I was wondering if some of you, for a small fee, would like to buy some of them? I have prints from Gallaudet protests, Williamsburg series, etc..Just let me know.

I went to a reading by New York Deaf Theater–”Judgment Day”–the other night. It was really good. I enjoyed myself tremendously. They also have a play going on this May 4th to 20th. The title is: “Beyond Help.” Produced by NYDT, Aaron Kubey. Directed by Garrett (www.garrettz.com). Look them up, maybe if some of you are in the city when the shows are on, go see it!

This saturday I’m going to go shoot a benefit or something for La Mama. Should be fun.

Also, this coming tuesday is the episode of Law and Order: CI we’ve all been waiting for!! “The Silencer.” I was an extra in that show. do watch I’ve wrote about the episode in earlier entries and some photos are in my photoblog.

Enjoys!
Der Sankt

Je reviens

Yes, I’m still alive…

I’ve returned to make a few annoucements–yesterday, I was an extra on Law and Order:CI with a few other Deaf people for another L&O episode (more on that later). Anyhoos, I learned yesterday that the “Silencer” episode (the one with Deaf principal actors) will air April 3rd.

April 3rd not March 20. There were some editing done and things got delayed. So change your dates!!

Currently I’m working on the second act of my play–someone is going to type out the first act of it (since i’ve written everything down in a notebook by hand…). So, I’ve talked to a couple of people about this and seems like it’s a good project.

I’ve been shooting a lot lately, I need to catch up on my pictures.

Bisous!
Der Sankt

My name.

I’ve been getting emails from people who are not getting my name right.

At first it was amusing but now it’s annoying.

benjamin eugene vess.

that’s my name.

bisous,
Der Sankt

My brief hiatus

I’ve decided to take a brief hiatus from writing in this blog due to the fact that I’m working on a script right now. I’ve had over 30 pages of the first act drafted out. It’s kind of crazy, come to think of it, I’m thinking of more things to write about as I write..

The play is about a little boy going through life without the sound of fart. It’s largely autobiographical.

I think I should have the first draft of the complete script by the end of the week

bisous,
Der Sankt

Divided, categorized, and labeled?

I saw Adian Mack’s vlog and came to the conclusion after reading several other blogs/vlogs that perhaps we are steering away from the main objective here. Ever since Ella Mae Lentz’s vlog about “DeafMutes” I’ve learned about five new categories within the Deaf community.

I’m not sure how to organize this thought into an entry.

I find it amusing that the term: “Hearing people” is something we all agree on. We have strong feelings about that specific group and we agree. “Hearing people.”

“Hearing.”

And yet, we categorize, subcategorize, divide, and label members within our community, including ourselves, without hesitation, without any difficulty. That amazes me. I will not deny that I, myself, was no better and did the exact same thing. That was the thing that bothered me the most.

Anyway, I wanted to make an analogy between this situation and photography—since, Aidan Mack made comparisons with her industry and the community. I’m not sure how her industry works but this is what I know about photography. It is not unusual to work in a team.

There are so many differences within the community—starting with brand names: Canon, Nikon, Olympus, Sony, blah blah. Then there’s Film and Digital. In film, 35mm? Medium Format? What kind of film? Then in Digital, Raw or JPEG? What kind of lens? The list goes on and on.

Two photographers could get together and argue about the fine details of photography philosophy for hours, if not days, on end. Or they could get together and discuss what kind of picture they are trying to get. How to get the best shots out of this, who covers what angle, and all that. In the end, the person gets an album of photography in agreement between the two (or more) photographers. The same goal, different styles, different executions, angles, and so on; but, same goal.

Same image.

I believe this applies to the Deaf community. When Ella Lentz brought up “DeafMute,” the entire community reacted—just like it would with the term: “hearing people.” Deaf became generic. It became too easy. It was getting diluted.

That word called the attention from each and every one of you. “Deaf,” Deaf-Deaf, Deaf grew up oral, deaf—hearing loss, Cochlear Implants, etc” The entire community came together and had strong feelings about this. Also, in all of the arguments, all of the reactions, I’ve seen a lot of categorization of the Deaf community—but, we all agree on this: “hearing people.”

My question is, since “DeafMute” has an impact on every deaf person in the Deaf community, it does not single anyone out except for “hearing people,” This is truly the word that links our history with today. We all would agree that individually, we have different feelings about “hearing people” but we all also agree that it represent a group of people we have strong feelings for.

“DeafMute” has the same power.

There is no avoiding that without strong feelings—without the concern of trampling over other people’s feelings. Keep this in mind; the “hearing people” are not talking about this. They still are in the dark. This is a fierce debate within the community. Everybody is presenting a different picture.

This is where my analogy comes in: different groups, categories, etc of Deaf community members (closet audists, oralists, ASL, DoD, CODAs, etc) are presenting their own photograph of “DeafMute.” Some love it, some hate it, some wants respect for all, others claim neutrality, and so on. This has no effect on “hearing people.”

How about this? Instead, we come down together as a team—a bunch of individuals with radical ideas and styles put together in one goal. To make one album agreeing in achieving that goal. To present a unified idea.

“DeafMute” is a crude word we need to refine.

This is my challenge to you guys—Aidan Mack, is it possible for “DeafMute” to have a common understanding in the Deaf community? Carl Schroeder, how can “closet audists” contribute to the collective image of “DeafMute?”

That’s my challenge to everybody and their beautiful ideas—together, what kind of album do we want the world to see? Do we really want to give them millions of little brochures and say, “Well, they don’t exactly agree 100%…”

That’s not true.

We all agree 100% that “DeafMute” affects us in some way. Now what we need to do is to place a unified picture for that word. DeafMute is very confusing. Perhaps after agreeing on the picture of the word, we can truly reclaim it. Redefine it, even.

Bisous,
Der Sankt

With the Treasure, comes pain.

Yesterday I got an e-mail from Mike Schmidt asking me to remove his comment from my blog. I said, “Sure, why?” This was his response:

“Mike Schmidt to me
show details 12:59 am (8 hours ago)

I don’t want to associate myself with you and the deaf mute crowd. “

To be honest with you, I was hurt. I felt disrespected. Insulted. This on top of a vlog yesterday saying that, I as part of Deaf community threatened her. David Eberwein was shocked at her statements about Deaf community–he informs me that he and Ella Lentz had a really good discussion with her. Her ASL, and I agree, is beautiful. No mention of that. In my vlog I talked about implants in babies–not implants in adults.

I’m confused. I’m hurt. I don’t understand.

Do I insult you whenever “Cochlear Implants” come up in my head, I feel a sense of abnormality? I feel degraded, negative–unable to hear and that hurts your feelings? When you say you want to hear sounds and music–you know ASL too. Seems to me what I can’t hear is more beautiful than what I have. My treasure. My ASL. Am I wrong for not wanting to be reminded of that, my ASL being inferior, My language is “Almost?”

I grew up with friends who did not want to have implants but “had to” because their parents “said so.” Was I supposed to say then:

“It’s better to be able to hear and try to speak?”

Was I not supposed to get angry at doctors and call it a “failure?” Was it wrong of me to fear that for my Deaf peers? For my children? I once met an ENT (Ear Nose Throat) doctor who never heard of Gallaudet or even that there were deaf schools. He strongly encouraged me to get one. Free, medicaid will pay.

A free hole with magnets so I can be normal. Was I not supposed to feel insulted? Was I supposed to say ‘I agree, I am inferior because I cannot hear and I do need it?’ He later informed me that he knew about sign language but CI were more effective in the fluency of English.

He stabbed a butcher’s knife in my heart. I don’t know whether to cry or kill him. They teach hearing babies sign language before they can speak: “Meet the Fockers.” Hearing children’s English are not impaired. They force us to learn how to speak first and sign later and now our English is weak. SHould we feel stupid and blame it on ourselves? It’s our fault, we prefer sign language. The world doesn’t speak that. I have to hear. I have to speak. I have to respect their feelings. It is my fault. I’m Deaf, hearing impaired, hard of hearing, unable to hear.

I’m confused.

Deaf schools are closing down as we speak because of mainstreamed programs and medical advancements in technology. Will my stories of my life in a Deaf institution be the final fanfare of a Deaf community at its prime?

Are we not acting scared in a desperate situation, trying not to feel demoralized, be mislabeled, and deglorify the richness of ASL and Deaf History? We wanted to share, to include you as part of our lives, be rich in ASL and your own history–but it appears to me that I cannot release this burden and force it on my children so that it will meet with an open crowd?

I remember my first day in a mainstreamed school. The morning I got there, I could not believe my eyes, there were 2,800 hearing students and none of them were signing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to say I’m sorry, I will be a good boy. Just let me back in a Deaf school. At that school, I needed an interpreter. That was singled out for me.

Everybody knew I was the Deaf boy.

At lunch there were eight other deaf kids there, one boy was a senior and his mother is an interpreter for the Deaf. He could sign, of course, I, being Deaf, went to him and wanted to make friends–see, at lunch I wasn’t privvy to an interpreter. He stared at me.

“You stole my interpreters.”

I stopped cold. I did not know what to think. Here I am, in a room with six hundred hearing students with no knowledge of ASL and this is the only person I can really relate to. That was the hiroshima bomb for me. Because I was Deaf. Came out of MSSD, it is okay for you to look down on me with contempt? I am supposed to accept that?

Then he continued: “You know, ASL isn’t important. You need to know English.”

Am I supposed to group all eight deaf students there in that cafeteria and say “ALL OF YOU–DISGRACE TO THE DEAF COMMUNITY. Insulting ASL!?” or should I say nothing? Does standing up make me mean? Cruel, even? Do I truly exclude you for not understanding, being confused, for doing what my heart says? Was I wrong for being enraged, feeling disrespected and degraded? I never felt so alone.

breathe.

I remember a situation where a second year interpreter fresh out of ASL-3 class wanted to interpret my English class against my interpreters’ wishes. This was a class debate–the interpreter had to take full five minutes to get what I had to spell. After a few times she did that, the debate slowed down dramatically; so, I said:

“Sit down.”

She stared at me. I wasn’t kidding.

“Go sit down.”

She left the room and my regular interpreters took over. A week later my CODA interpreter tells me that I have a reputation now. I was almost untouchable. They did not want to interpret for that mean Deaf boy who, insert eye roll, have deaf family, deaf blah blah blah. I said, “Sit down” because I was embarrassed. My class had to wait for me. I felt stupid. I felt insulted, disrespected. I felt little, small. I wanted to leave; but this was my class. She was visiting.

She wouldn’t stop.

The stupid Deaf boy. Me.

This was my class, not hers. My education, not her ASL training. I’m not a guinea pig. I should never feel like one, right? Or should I have sat there, said nothing. She is trying. The class is stalled. She barely understands me. I should stop talking. Let her practice. Their feelings, respect, right?

My brows will cross and my nose will twitch at the word “cochlear implant” because then I wonder “Do you think speaking is important? Will you decide to stop signing–rendering me unable to understand you? unable to be your friend because I don’t hear or speak? How am I supposed to feel? You say, respect! Do not! My decision!

Does that mean you want English over ASL? I’m confused, hurt, I want to ask and you say stop. Respect!

Should I stay quiet, keep my peace?

Accept sounds, accept hearing. No questions. No looks. Nothing.

Should I strive for normalcy and in the process, constantly feeling inferior? That is the better life for me?

Is my voice heard or am I truly the Deaf-Mute that you’re all afraid of?

Bisous,
Der Sankt

My treasure, my beginning…

MishkaZena said: “Cool. As there is little documentation on the personal history of deaf people in deaf schools in the old days, these stories will be very valuable. They can be archived for deaf people and scholars to study for decades. I definitely will be looking forward to these stories ”

It sparked something in me that I haven’t felt in a long time, really. When I was growing up I always thought I would be writing these stories down. Just in case Deafness goes away and we’re just a memory. I just wanted the world to know that I had a very good childhood—that my deafness was an enhancement to my life. Like my friend said, I missed out on hearing, yes; but, if I were hearing, I’d miss out on what I had. It’s not that one is better than the other, just different.

I grew up different, I did not grow up going to school 15-30 minute bus ride away from home. I lived in the dorms—I shared a bedroom with someone else, pretty much, for my entire life. I am comfortable with that. I went to Virginia School for the Deaf and Blind in Staunton, Virginia in 1990, I believe. I was seven, maybe eight years old. Now see, my experience might differ than the other Deaf students there.

I have heard stories where the students were elated to go back to school, to get away from home and be with their peers, their language. School was their family, their home, their lives, literally. As for me, that was not the case, my parents are Deaf, and my family knows sign language. My sister is Deaf (currently a Gallaudet student). ASL is the primary language of my household.

All my parents’ friends were Deaf, my friends were Deaf—some were hearing but they all knew how to sign. I lived a life thinking that the hearing society was just “out there.” They pretty much existed in movies, TV, in a store…that’s all. Imagine how devastated I was when my parents told me that they were going to leave me at VSDB for school and that I won’t be coming home except for the weekends.

What?! Why?!

Understand that, indeed, the school had Deaf staff, teachers, and hearing people who spoke ASL. I was not out of my element there; I could communicate fully well with any one of them. It wasn’t that. My parents were leaving me in a place full of strangers. Unbelievable. The previous school I went to was, Virginia School for the Deaf and the Blind at Hampton; which was a mere twenty minute ride from home. See the sudden change in lifestyle—being totally disconnected from my family and old friends. I couldn’t handle it for a few months—when I did, school wasn’t so bad for me.

After all, I ended up there for a decade.

There was one incident that I remember vividly during my first few months there. I wanted to go home, that was the only thought in my head. I refused to work in school sitting in a corner, crying. Then go to the dorm, think of million of ways to run away from school. One day, I got it. See, they finally allowed me to take walks around the campus—I guess they felt that I needed to get some fresh air and get acclimated with the campus. Okay, but they would always have an escort for me. Most of the time it was Jia, I didn’t like him very much because he would never let me leave campus. Ever.

This one time, he couldn’t do it; so, they gave me another high school student to escort me around campus. He wasn’t particularly bright, to say the least. I managed to convince him to take a different route. The one that would take me off campus and I’d run away from him. That was the plan, yes, indeed.

It nearly worked.

Just about when we were going to step out of the borders of the school, a station wagon drives up the entrance. We keep walking; acting like the car never existed. My goal was to go home. In that car was a lady whose name was, Linda Blehm. She stopped the car and stepped out.

We had to stop. No use ignoring this anymore.

I remember she was wearing a yellow shirt with a beige long skirt and she had on brown shoes. At seven, eight years old, eye level for me was her waist; so, of course, I noticed her shoes. She smiled and looked at me—this was a happy woman, like this situation was quite humorous. “What’s your name?” She bent down to my height with a gigantic grin plastered all over her face.

I looked down, “Ben Vess.”

She let out a good laugh, tilting herself backwards, shaking her head. “I know your mom and your dad! Don’t worry, go back to dorm.” Still smiling, “I will call your parents, what you want me to tell them?”

I was furious. I could barely even think. “I want to go home.”

“No,” she shook her head. “Go to dorm; wait for mom and dad come see you.”

She got up and spoke to the other student, her demeanor changed, she wasn’t happy. “Go back to dorm, you’re not supposed to bring him here. You know better.”

I refused to eat dinner later that night and breakfast the next morning. I went to Student Life Office waiting for them to call my parents and take me home.

Later on, I learned that Ms. Linda Blehm was Miss Linda Collins, Class of ’72 from VSDB. My mom was part of class of ’73 and my dad was class of ’74. She went to Gallaudet and became a teacher at her alma mater. Also, she was a good friend of Camilla Ballard, who was my favorite babysitter when I was a baby.

It was then when I realized that if I had kept going, she would probably have took me home and called my parents so that I wouldn’t wander all over the streets and my parents would come up.

It’d be good for them to see old friends as well. At the time of my enrollment, many of the teachers already had taught my parents and were more than willing to welcome the next generation. That incident happens to be one of the most vivid first memories I have of the school.

A little background: I was from the tidewater area of Virginia and the school was 4 hours well into the mountains shut off from most of civilization. I’m telling you it was not unusual to see animals like deer, rabbits, squirrels and sorts. Sometimes skunks. When you’re a child in that kind of place, it has a magical feel. The school was built before the Civil War and became a hospital for the soldiers at one point.

Ghost stories were rampant. Everybody saw something. Some were as old as the school itself, others were more recent.

There were trees everywhere, hills, and grass. If you wanted to go from one building to another, you probably had to go up or down something. The campus was located near a historic downtown area. The entire neighborhood looked like it is stuck in Woodrow Wilson’s (Staunton, Virginia is his birthplace, walking distance from VSDB) period—although they do have electricity and cars now, the feel is the same.

So, there was always some kind of magic in the air. Little flurries of it.

This is my introduction to the stories. Inspired by MishkaZena, I’m going to make vlogs and written entries every now and then sharing these stories. My stories through my eyes.

Bisous,
Der Sankt

Me Deaf-Mute that!

For transcript of this vlog click below

Bisous français,
Der Sankt

Updates and Tidbits…

This is going to be a general entry updating you readers about a few things. Remember Law and Order: CI–the episode where I was an extra? photos can be seen here: Der Sankt’s Pictures. Well, I just found out the airing date for the show–it is March 20th!

Record that date. March 20. (Don’t be disappointed if yours truly ended up on the floor in the editing room–I was, after all, an extra, insignificant little ant in the gigantic world of silver screen queens). Law and Order: Criminal Intent. Check your local listing for channels and times.

Earlier tonight, I did photos for Joseph Santini’s documentary on Deaf people and their experiences with VRI (Video Relay Interpreters). For more information on VRI and related issues, go to his blog: Deaf in the City. If you are a New Yorker and had an experience with VRI (does not matter whether it was good or bad), please contact Joseph Santini for an interview.

This is an important issue–it has been mentioned by a few bloggers, including Ridor (in fact, Ridor made a vlog about it).

Also, I was considering about doing a little fundraiser for Vlog Transcript Services. My reasons for having a fundraiser: first, I’d like to have a website with bigger bandwith so that I can start storing videos for English to ASL translations. Secondly, it has become apparent that a lot of people do not have time to voulnteer for this project–which I can totally understand…I can barely do six vlogs in one week and they need to be typed out–I thought maybe having a little compensation fee (like $10 or something) for each translation from a volunteer might improve and accomodate the vloggers’ constant output of vlogs. Any additional monies after that, I was thinking of hosting a contest for a Logo. the winner get cash prize plus credit in creating the logo for the VLOG Transcript Services.

After I’ve drafted up the financial plan as to what I want to do with the VTS (Vlog Transcript Services) I’ll post up the details and the goal for how much I’d like to raise funds. Along with that I’ll put up a paypal account for donations to the VTS. A friend of mine is arranging some information for me to establish VTS as a non-profit organization so that your donations will be tax deductible.

Oh yeah, I added new photos on my photoblog! Check it out!

Question of the day!
“Who do you think is an influential Deaf vlogger/blogger and why?”

bisous,
der sankt

Vlog Transcript Challenge!

I got an email this morning from Carl Schroeder–he was offering me a challenge and I thought, “Why not?” right. hahaha.

Here is the transcript:

This eTranslation is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the author and the translator. Under no circumstance can this transcript be used for commercial purposes.

Vlog site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPeW8JIk7cw

Vlog author: Carl Schroeder

Translated from American Sign Language by Benjamin Vess

ASL Copyright 2007, Carl Schroeder

*Disclaimer*
This transcript is a translation from American Sign Language into English. The contents below has not yet been review and/or approved by the author. Any errors in translation and/or, but not limited to, interpretation is at the fault of the translator alone.

“For a Vlog Transcript by Ben Vess “
by Carl Schroeder
February 23, 2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPeW8JIk7cw

***********************************************************************

Hello, Ben! I just saw your vlog regarding the ASL Transcript services. Okay, I’m excited about that, sounds like a challenge for you and for me. I’ve been thinking and would like to offer you a challenge—all right, there are two signs:

The first:

And the second:

Let me know how you came up with the translation.

Thank you.

***********************************************************************

This eTranslation is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the author and the translator. Under no circumstance can this transcript be used for commercial purposes.

Vlog site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPeW8JIk7cw

Vlog author: Carl Schroeder

Translated from American Sign Language by Benjamin Vess

ASL Copyright 2007, Carl Schroeder

*Disclaimer*
This transcript is a translation from American Sign Language into English. The contents below has not yet been review and/or approved by the author. Any errors in translation and/or, but not limited to, interpretation is at the fault of the translator alone.

“For a Vlog Transcript by Ben Vess “
by Carl Schroeder
February 23, 2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPeW8JIk7cw

Feedbacks are greatly appreciated!!

Bisous,
Der Sankt

Introduction to Vlog Transcript Services

This is my first VLOG, yay me. I’m still looking for volunteers for this project..email me at vlogtranscripts@gmail.com if you are interested.

The Vlog Transcript website is at: http://www.geocities.com/vlogtranscripts/

transcripts are available at http://www.geocities.com/vlogtranscripts/html/transcripts.htm

bisous,
Der Sankt

One Nighters et les gars…

***Disclaimer***
Reading this entry will make you explode into millions of little pieces if you are a minor. Or a virgin. Offensive material herein lies in this entry–be thou warned.
***End Disclaimer***

No more Deafs. Not tonight. The subject is one night, once again, fucks.

I’m sure most of you already have encountered an one-nighter and forgot all about it. Tonight is one of them, tragically. So it seems that the best fuck is usually the boy I cannot have. Simply not possible. To be honest, at this point in my life, I cannot take on the responsibility of being a boyfriend–I’m a lousy one at that. I’m sure most of my boys would agree with me.

I’m raw, not refined.

But seriously, back to my point: one night fucks. It is kind of interesting how you simply just walk in a situation where things could really be awkward or just plain old plain or truly terrible and rarely, a mind-blowing fuck. A little bit of alcohol does help every now and then–unfortunately, no matter how drunk you are, you’ll know whether or not the encounter is forgettable or unforgettable.

Waking up next to an ugly fuck is never a good thing. I think my problem here is that I compare my fucks to the best one I’ve had. Of course, my dear readers, I’m sure you’re quite curious as to who my best fuck was is.

His name is Matt, hands down. The best. I’m sure he probably wants to fuck me now.

Soon enough, we shall, Matt; soon enough.

I’m not talking about blowjobs, threesomes, or whatever stuff you have listed in your head, no. I’m talking about the fuck. Actual penetration. Most of us know it’s really easy to have sexual relations without the actual fuck (Mr. Former President Billy Clinton knows this best). Usually Matt jerks me off at the end–but that’s not my point.

When I go out to have a fuck, I try to look for something I know I can get just once and not feel the need to get into another sexual relations with anyone for the next six months because that one time alone is enough for these 6 months of celibacy. And when I have an okay fuck then that makes it worse, i’d want to go out and fuck until I get that special fuck.

I know it’s rational for one to stick with the best fuck and forget all else. But, then again, who ever said I was rational? ha ha ha. I simply hate it when the one nighters think it’s about them. Not us, not me, just him. He gets off, grunts and pants and gasps and sighhs then every one of his muscles relaxes.

“That was really good.”

My brain’s thinking, ‘oh shit, it’s over.’ I dont even bother asking what about me? I’m turned off. Fini. What can I do? Usually, I go home. If you’re really good and put me into consideration after you’ve shot your load and breathed your last sigh–just in between that and the eight-hour blink, you take the time to make sure that I am, too, satisfied. It’s an over night stay for you. That’s when you will get the special treatment, like you were the only boy that truly pleased me.

Unfortunately, that is more uncommon than not.

I don’t know how the girls tolerate it. I’m sure many of them went through one nighters wondering ahh…but i’m not even close to being done…Oh yeah I came really hard. it was hot. I gotta go home, got to wake up in the morning…do some errands…busy day. Oh yeah baby, I’ll call you–then you get out of the house and erase his name and replace it with “No-No.”

Whenever he rings you–”No-No” shows up on your phone and you roll up your eyes. Never again, you tell yourself. Not with him…

Well, that’s why they’re called one nighters, yes?

Bisous,
Der Sankt

A public apology…

I have noticed that the name calling and degrading of characters becoming more prevalent in the past few days, not only that, apparently I have also been thrusted upon the postition of being a role model (whether or not I have a say in it). I would like to make this clear: it was not my intention to cause defamation of character in Carl, I had believed that I was attacking his ideas and his postitions; however, a friend of mine mentioned that I should have made it known that I do not know Carl Schroeder personally and I do not have anything against him personally.

It has been brought to my attention that some people out there are interpreting my entry as a personal attack and a defamation of character on Carl. For that, I have no excuses. I was wrong. That should have never happened. I was wrong and stupid.

Carl, I apologize.

On the other hand, regarding my use of profanity in the previous two entries (perhaps more, who knows), I will not apologize for.

No, I will not.

The previous entry I wrote, which was riddled with profanity had a disclaimer and was not listed in Deafread.com; Also, it was not an attack on anybody; I was just using a certain word quite liberally. I still feel strongly about parents, legal guardians, and educators being responsible for being aware of the publications and their philosophies (and their use of profanity) before advising the children to read them.

Also, it is unrealistic to “shelter” children from profanity. At some point in their lives, they will hear/see profanity. Perhaps on another blog, website, television, or a movie. I strongly advise you adults with children to talk to them and inform them that, yes, people in the real world do use profanity and it might not always be appropriate. But they do.

Again, apparently I am thrusted upon the postition of being a role model, I will make a compromise. Whenever I feel that maybe my entry might not be suitable for children, I will put up a disclaimer. Under no circumstances will I censor myself.

I hope this compromise will better assist you in keeping an eye on what the children are reading.

Bisous,
Der Sankt

Fuck!

*This post is for mature audience only, anyone under the age of 18 or has been declared mentally incompetent by the courts (I’m serious) should refrain from reading this entry. Educators and Parents—this entry is definitely not for your children. Be responsible and watch them. If anything, I’m not paying medical bills or lawsuits because of your ignorance.*

Okay, today I’ve decided that I no longer want to talk about ASL or Deaf issues. It’s getting old and I’m forever young. Today, my subject is the word, Fuck.

Be warned, my dear readers, for today, Fuck is the theme. I will use it freely and apply it everywhere it needs to be applied. Fuck, fuck, and fuck. Seriously, fuck is one of the most used words in the English language, not only that, it is also one of the most versatile words.

Noun (the fuck), verb (fucking), intensifier (fucking), and a few others (fuckity, fuckness, and so forth). Unless someone out there can point out another word of the same caliber, I’m going to say that fuck is the only word that you can use for just about anything.

Anything you need, FUCK is always there to provide.

Fuck can represent a whole range of emotions as well, simply amazing, if you think about it. “Fuck this shit, I’m not doing it anymore.” Anger, resentment, fatigue, and frustration. “Fuck, He was an amazing fuck last night; I had to tell myself to fucking breathe.” Happiness, electricity, and an orgasm all rolled in one word: fuck. How about the classic: “Fuck you!” ouch, so insulting, right? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

A lot of people like to say that Fuck is not a nice word. Degrading at most, shows a lack of education in a person. I disagree. The common man has made more uses with the word, fuck, and that, to me, is an indicator of creativity. Scholars usually believe a larger vocabulary is better than having a limited one. Let’s think about this: Shakespeare invented over 2,000 words. These words were never in the Dictionary before Shakespeare thought of them—and currently, his words are being used by academia all over the world.

Shakespeare remained true to the vernacular. He would have used FUCK and loved every moment of it. If you read his plays one would see Antony and Cleopatra is basically soft porn, in Macbeth and Hamlet, he does not shy away from creating some of the most magnificent insults to an individual.

His insults make fuck seem like “candy.” Schools teach Shakespeare—fuck, he’s like grains in the literary food pyramid. A staple diet for English literature. Fuck, who would have known?

I love fuck, don’t get me wrong. I adore fucking. Fuck it, I’d be fucking in my deathbed. Hahahahahaha. Note: fuckity came from a friend of mine. I love it, really. Fuckity fuck!

On another note, one of the reasons why I’ve decided to dedicate one of my entries to Fuck is due to the fact that I feel the need to make sure people know that I own this blog. This blog is mine and mine alone. Seriously, I wrote a very good entry a couple of posts ago—very strong feelings in it—and I mention fucking just once. Just once.

That word alone gets blown out of proportion. How is it appropriate for me to say “Pray tell, where did you get your degree from so that I can appropriately petition for that University to withdraw their document he got on his graduation day” and not “fucking close.” If you think about it, fucking close is not at all insulting to anyone in particular. Like in one of the comments, fucking was used as an intensifier not as an insult.

The former is most definitely an insult—without the use of fuck.

But, now, do feel free to fucking complain. Fuck it let the floodgates open. je suis ici!

Bisous,
Der Sankt

PS–A must read for bloggers who want to make millions off their blogs!! Harold is a Robot #3 - How to Earn a Six Figure Income From Blogging in Two Easy Steps

ASL: A case of Crab Theory?

This is a powerful theory, (for more information on the “crab theory” go to: http://library.gallaudet.edu/dr/faq-crab.html) come to think of it, really. Last night, I got a phone call from David Eberwein and we had a really good discussion about the situation at hand—Vlogging and its translation. I’ve come to understand a few more thing in that one hour conversation with him than I did in the past five days.

He pointed out that the VLOGosphere originated roughly a year ago—which means that the whole thing is still in its early stages of development. This period is critical to the survival of Vlogs because it can either go one of two ways: explode into the community and become a daily activity for most of us, or simply fade away into nonexistence. The latter apparently scares a lot of ASL users because some of them truly believe in their heart that videorecording is the only (not one of a few, no, the only one) way to preserve the language.

My blog did not start a year ago, in fact, it started this month. February of 2007. It appears that I walked in a very controversial issue—an ongoing one for the past year—and after a few days I decide to do something—the transcription services. When I made the decision to do that, the only thought in my head was, “accessibility.” Not just for the Deaf or for hearing people—this is a project that covers all. Keep in mind that when I made the decision to go ahead with the project, I was placing ASL and English on equal grounds. This is a positive project, beneficial to everyone who decides to be involved. If you chose not to, that is your choice.

You will not be criticized for the decision you made. I expect the same from you.

Back to the crab theory: I believe ASL is undergoing a severe case of “crabs,” for a lack of a better word, I’ll go ahead and use that. When I got harsh responses from Vloggers because they believed that I was placing the value of English above ASL, I was ready to do a vlog in spoken English and request that it would not be translated; but then I thought, that might be a bit immature on my part. DE mentioned that vloggers feel strongly about “tainting” their ASL with English is due to the fact that ASL almost never stands alone. On its own.

That’s an interesting thought. So, my question here is, is it really me that places English above ASL because I felt the need for everyone to have access to transcripts of ASL vlogs? If you say yes, then you’ve implied that I am an audist. Okay.

I’m going to ask you something here, when I thought of doing transcripts, I believed at that time, ASL and English are equals. Not once did I think: “Oh, English is necessary because it’s better than ASL.” Not once.

But there are some who claims by having transcripts in English for ASL is going to destroy ASL, render it incapable of being on the same caliber as English—Why? Your anger tells me that you really believe that English is better than ASL. With that mentality, of course, you will always feel the need to “fight” and “defend” the validity of ASL as a language when everyone around you are just uninformed rather than oppressive. By forcing your thinking on me, saying that I place more importance on English by writing out transcripts from ASL vlogs, you have forgotten my original goal here:

Accessibility. My project never attacked anyone; it never told anyone that they must consider English in their Vlogs.

For me, this was never about languages—which is better than which. That seems so ridiculous. Les francophones tous savaient que le langage français n’est jamais mieux de l’anglais. Aussi, les anglophones tous savaient que le langage anglais n’est jamais mieux que le français. Tout le monde convient les langues sont différentes, non meilleur, différentes.

And I stand by that philosophy.

How is ASL going through “crabs?” you might ask. Let’s think about it, why would vloggers scream and claw at the notion of transcripting if they truly believed English and ASL are equals. In that thinking, an ASL user would never feel “oppressed” until someone flat out says “ASL is not really a language.” The whole point in transcripting this is to lessen the burdens of Vloggers of doing their own translations themselves and to bring you vloggers a wider audience. From what I see, by claiming that “ASL needs to be considered equals with English,” you are saying that ASL is below English, hence the crab theory. By that mentality, you proved your oppressors (perhaps more imagined than real) that YES, INDEED, ASL IS NOT ENGLISH’S EQUAL.

Let’s make a note of this: I will never allow myself to think in that manner. Neither should you.

Enough is enough.

Personally, I do not feel that it is appropriate to force my hearing friends to learn a decades’ worth of American Sign Language in a matter of minutes so they can understand the nonsense Mr. Carl Schroeder keeps spewing out on his vlogs. As a matter of fact, most of them are uneducated interpretations of what he imagines the world to be. 

Also, he appears to be resistant to accept that this world is filled with non-ASL speakers. He refuses to realize that his demands that people learn American Sign Language in order to understand his “Art” (although that in itself is debatable) is unreasonable.

They label us insane, refusing to be inclusive, and a bit primitive because of people like Carl Schroeder.  

Carl wrote in one of his entries: “Regarding translations: There is a natural tendency on the part of a translator to confuse literalism with accuracy. When consistently followed, this tendency can render any translation of ASL unintelligible. ASL syntax is not English syntax; and, as every translator must admit, the unit of meaning is the sentence, not the sign in ASL. Signs in ASL. . .does not always correspond exactly with the set attached to another term in English, it is impossible to translate from ASL to English simply by subtitling.” 

I take personal offense to this. American Sign Language, unlike in Carl’s case, is my primary language. My first spoken word was in ASL. Like Nabokov, I happen to have a very comfortable level with both languages, English and American Sign Language and I am fluent in both. Fluent. My accuracy might not be impeccable but I do know it’s fucking close. Unlike what Carl said: Translation is possible. Carl just can’t do it.  Pity. And to think in one of Carl’s entries, he compares himself to the famed and venerable figure in history: Socrates. When he wrote that entry, I decided against saying anything. It is common knowledge that Socrates himself never wrote any of his own dialogues—when in fact, it was Plato who did that. Also, for Carl to be able to read the words of Socrates—he would have to read a translated version. (insert gasp here)

YES! A translation! Socrates spoke in Ancient Greek (modern Greek is different) and Plato wrote in that. Did you “hear” Socrates speak, Carl? Isn’t that the original “art” form Socrates presented his philosophy in? Spoken Greek, not written, not a translated copy, no. Spoken Greek! “Deaf Socrates,” you say you are. 

“Ha,” the Holy Saint replies.

During the last few days Jay and I have been sounding off with each other as to how to best compromise the transcript situation so that nobody would be offended. The initial stages of the discussion were quite heated—a lot of expectations were set and major compromises were necessary. For starters, I had wanted all VLOGs to be transcripted into English, Jay and several vloggers disagreed and wanted to leave out the “opt-out” option for the vloggers. Jay and I both agreed that this project is truly for the benefit of everyone.    Carl, in his recent post, decided to write off transcripts as well. All these discussions, these experimentations between vloggers and myself to see if this is the best compromise  for a solution that will enable non-ASL users and ASL users to have free exchange of ideas, information, values, and culture. I’m offering this service for free–I’m not asking vloggers to do anything but keep posting and Carl does not say “thank you but no thanks.” No, he has to be negative and his persistence in trying to reject anything that might increase awareness of ASL (subtitling, transcripts, etc) proves that Jane K. Fernandes was right. Deaf people do not want to be inclusive. 

Well, Carl Schroeder, if you don’t want to compromise and try to be inclusive—including those who do not speak ASL but are part of the ASL community (i.e., hearing parents, siblings, early ASL learners), then you will not be included. 

Progress does not move forward because of ignorance; no, it builds on knowledge, education, and adaptation to the times.

bisous,

Der Sankt 

PS My next entry will be the debut of the VLOG translation website. Ridor has agreed to have all of his VLOGs translated and posted on the website; so that’s in the works. Also, Jay will post a VLOG in ASL explaining the fine details of this Transcript Project.

Deaf TV Episode in the making!!

Today, yours truly went out for an interesting day, seriously. Some of you might remember a listing on deafread.com about the need for Deaf Extras on Law and Order: CI. Well, yep, yours truly signed up for that. This morning at 7:45, I woke up, took a shower and got dressed…did my morning rituals then got on the train to Lehman’s College in the
Bronx. I left around nine—I had to be there at 10:30am.

I happened to be 15 minutes late. The train was “delayed” like always, a New Yorker can trust the MTA for that. Then I find out the College is a closed campus so I had to look around for an entrance. Bah. 

That was not such a bad thing after all, being late that is, because they sent me up to the third floor (a mistake, extras belong at the first floor—lounging about, doing nothing) where they were filming an actual section of the show. It was the VP section. The first person I see when I enter that grand big old room was Raymond Luczak. He was in a videophone conversation with someone else in the other room. 

The interpreter on set showed me the screens where I could look at two screens of the VP conversation—the person on the other end of Raymond’s VP was Deanne Bray. Hot.

This was the scene where one of them gets shot on VP! So Deafish!  After fifteen minutes or so, they finally realized I was one of the extras and promptly sent me downstairs along with the rest of them. Okies, not a problem.

Down there I see Jenn Perlis (Deaf film director, www.perlisfilms.com), Guthrie, Dax…met Anne, Melissa Yingst, and a few others. A good bunch of people, I’m telling you. 

All day, we had fun. 

For the first shooting, we began outside—now, they herded the extras out like sheep: they didn’t let us go through the building and out the exit downstairs, no. They made us go outside on the second floor and go down a driveway into the court. Fun, though.

They set us up in our proper places for the scene; then, enter the star of the show! 

Alexandra Wailes!  She looked fucking fabulous—she told us that there would be a car waiting to pick her up from her apartment and take her to the set every morning. Not only that, she has a whole wardrobe set up solely for her and her alone. She must be feeling majestic, indeed, she looks it! 

The storyline of this episode is going to be controversial. It appears that they are going to address the Deaf (yes, capital ‘D’) militant issue. I’m not sure how much influence the protest had on their issues and what their perspective is. It’s about a controversial issue in the Deaf community—I strongly encourage all to watch. It might offend some, then again it might not.  

Seriously—this is not your typical show about typical Deaf issues. The implications there are much more modern, post-protest perspectives. When I say they address the issue of Deaf militant, it’s true. One of the characters is actually a militant, come to think of it, refusing to be inclusive; refusing to accept change…It will be thought provoking, yep.  

Do watch! 

Babies, the suspense has begun. . .  

The show is due in March. Not sure exact date though. I took some pictures today as well, they’re going to be posted in my photoblog. http://dersanktpics.blogspot.com 

Bisous, 

Der Sankt

Transcript at work. Your opinions needed.

Throughout the day, several bloggers have been in constant email contact regarding the situation with transcripting, subtitling/captioning of the vlogs. Basically, we’ve decided to go with the early developments (this actually started today, my dears) and see what the feedback would be.

I’m very grateful for Jay Krieger for being the first vlogger to take part of this experiment. I sent the transcript to him and he posted it on his blog. Again, many thanks for helping out with this.  Also, thank you, Jamie Berke for correcting my English–really appreciate that!

 My questions are: What do you think of the format, is it easy to read and understand? Would it be better if the transcripts were in blog style or in a web directory style? What adjustments would you like to see in the transcript? Did you like Jay’s format or do you have a suggestion for a better way? Additional opinions and/or comments welcome!

On that note, any volunteers and vloggers who would like to get involved with this experiment–feel free to email me dersankt@gmail.com

 bisous,

der sankt

Transcript of Jay Krieger’s Vlog: “Feel Free to Express!” February 11, 2007:

This eTranslation is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the author and the translator. Under no circumstance can this transcript be used for commercial purposes.

Vlog site: http://seesay-jay.blogspot.com/2007/02/feel-free-to-express.html

Vlog author: Jay Krieger

Translated from American Sign Language by Benjamin Vess

ASL Copyright 2007, Jay Krieger.

*Disclaimer*
This transcript is a translation from American Sign Language into English. The contents below has not yet been reviewed and/or approved by the the author. Any errors in translation and/or, but not limited to, interpretation is at the fault of the translator alone.

“Feel Free To Express!”
by Jay Krieger
Sunday, February 11, 2007
http://seesay-jay.blogspot.com/2007/02/feel-free-to-express.html
hello today i’m glad to be discussing a litte bit more in depth on the concept of anonymous in comparison to the oppression of the need of captioning/subtitling, transcript, etc. currently at debate in blogosphere that caused some fears, concerns, and senstivity, and got to the point where some people decided to drop out of vlogging because they’re scared.

I have been thinking and it’s really interesting because this is all still very new for all of us. I want to share with you my views and philosophy on the subject. My philosophy is “KISS:” Keep it Simple and Sweet. Not a “short and simple message,” no. Keeping the process simple, that is.

Really, I have four main points to expand on here: The first one–the message inside your head,at its most purest form. The brainstorming, the thinking–whether it be in ASL or English, whatever language you choose is fine–the abstract thought. Then you proceed to present your message and walk away–leaving your message out there.

The message presented should be at its most purest form. Imagine a painter was painting a picture on a canvas, finishing it up. Does it have a statment underneath the finished work explaining as to why he painted the picture that way, moving the strokes a certain way? No, there isn’t any; it is an artistic expression. The canvas on display is left for people to look at and think of their own interpretation whether it’s the same as the artist or not, we don’t know. One would have to talk to a painter and ask “what’s that on the painting?” That belongs to a later point: the consequences.

But let’s go back: the message should be at its purest form. At this point, don’t worry about captioning/subtitling or transcripts. It’s important to get the message out of your head and presented. Now that part is completed–we go on to the next step, the second step: what is the consequences of that message? The message has been presented and you’ve left–it’s sitting out there, whether it be a blog, in writing or signed, in a vlog. Now once it’s out there, whatyou could do–there are options, you could want a transcript…install captioning…or you may even want to speak (not me). Or maybe nothing. Leave the message alone, as is.

Also, you must be senstitive to your responsibility to the message you present, it should not be in libelous or slanderous nature. If the message is truly important to a wide audience and you feel responsible to add more message (ie transcripts, captioning) to better reach your readers/viewers. But, if you chose not to do that, that’s okay, it is your decision. It’s all up to you. Now that concludes the second step, the consequences of your message.

As we move on to the third point, people out there who watches/read the blog/vlog and see that it’s important could volunteer to offer, “Can I write a transcript for you?” I think you should say, “Sure, you’re welcome to do that.” You get to do nothing, it’s really easy just to put a link or an excerpt or anything. They wrote it, that’s nice.

Now to the fourth and final point, you decide: no, you do not want their assistance in translating your vlog/blog into a transcript or add captioning. You don’t want anything in addition to your vlog/blog. The people who offered you the service get your repsonse and decide to go ahead without your permission and create a transcript on their own blog. Well, it’s the internet, it’s free for anyone, anonymous or not. Anything goes.

But I think the people (translators) should give the blogger/vloggers the courtesy of giving credit where it is due and inform the original author of republication. It’s not okay when someone translates and claim the translation as their original idea. But if they decide not to give credit where it is due, then I think it is easier accept their transcript.

Now, to sum up all four points, you should feel free to express anything you want, from thought in your mind into a message in whatever form that’s most purest to you. That’s the true value of the message. Don’t worry about the other things that cloud your message.

I want to close up with an idea/suggestion, i have many ASL and interpreting classes out there, many of them volunteers, some of them still learning ASL, watching the vlogs/blogs. That group could use transcripting as part of their training. ASL teachers now could assign homework to the class telling them to go home and pick two or three vlogs/blogs that has no transcript. Go ahead and look on the internet, it’s easy to find. One could look at deafread.com, look at many different ways to find a vlog/blog without a transcript and the students have to write a transcript then contact the author of the blog/vlog.

This way the student could talk to that person and see if the transcript gets accepted as part of their learning experience, processing and translating ASL–contacting a Deaf person, getting involved with the Deaf community.

Feel free, the internet is free!

“Feel Free To Express!”
by Jay Krieger
Sunday, February 11, 2007
http://seesay-jay.blogspot.com/2007/02/feel-free-to-express.html

*Disclaimer*
This transcript is a translation from American Sign Language into English. The contents below has not yet been reviewed and/or approved by the the author. Any errors in translation and/or, but not limited to, interpretation is at the fault of the translator alone.

This eTranslation is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the author and the translator. Under no circumstance can this transcript be used for commercial purposes.

Vlog site: http://seesay-jay.blogspot.com/2007/02/feel-free-to-express.html

Vlog author: Jay Krieger

Translated from American Sign Language by Benjamin Vess

ASL Copyright 2007, Jay Krieger.

Translations of VLOGs

Translations of Vlogs: Subtitling or Transcripts?

I feel that this is an urgent issue–one that needs to be resolved temporarily, if not permanently; the translation/subtitling of vlogs. Apparently this is not a Deaf community thing anymore; no, the vlogosphere has expanded into the entire ASL community (this is something the Deaf community should rejoice about). This community is far more diverse than the Deaf community alone.

Since Berke blogged her concerns and informed her readers that she will translate some of them into English transcripts and responses to her post made me realise, along with another situation, once this project is set, it shouldn’t have a problem taking off.

The other situation happened earlier this morning where I got an email from a vlogger, Shawn Elfrink, that she is going to stop vlogging because she didn’t want to oppress anyone (by not having an English counterpart to her signed vlogs) and the subtitling process proved to be much more burdensome than she had expected.

“Okay,” I thought. “This isn’t working.”

The whole point is not to overwhelm vloggers or lay guilt trips on them for not having English counterpart whether it be a transcript or subtitling. I would like to see more vlogs come out and be less fearful of not being able to provide translation for the ASL–for that to work, I’m willing to translate as many vlogs there is so it can be accessible for everyone

A Place for Transcripts

The idea behind this is to ease some burden off the loggers; so they can vlog more knowing that non-ASL speakers can still access that information through a transcript. My objective here is to try to be as indiscriminate as possible and translate as many vlogs as I can (volunteers are welcome, too). However,the artistically inclined vlogs will need special attention–so it might take longer to complete these.

I’ve decided to set up a small database online containing text/html files of translations for vlogs (with the approval of the vloggers) to be linked in the vlogs’ post rather than making the authors subtitle the vlogs.

The basic concept of this is when a vlogger makes a post–they could send an email informing me that they’ve made a post and hopefully, if I’m not overwhelmed, I’ll get the transcript posted, with the vlogger’s approval on the translation, within 24-48 hours.

 I haven’t set up a website for the transcripts yet–I’ve only a couple of them..vloggers who would like their vlogs to be translated and/or volunteers who would like to translate vlogs–feel free to email me at dersankt@gmail.com

I think after a couple of days, if I have enough translations at hand, i’ll set up a small website and see how it goes–make improvements on it and so–perhaps move it up to an official website…As for now, let’s see if this temporary solution works and, vloggers, vlog away!

bisous,

Der Sankt

This one’s for Ridor

 Headlines of Feburary 9th 2007.
New York City, New York.

I’m sure many of you have heard Ridor speak of the headlines in the newspapers of NYC and how they’re truly sensational. I wouldn’t be surprised if half of you nodded your heads off taking his words with a grain of salt…

Normally, newspapers wouldn’t be so unprofessional with their headlines, right?

Well baby, this is New York. Just a tad bit more sensational and dramatic than dear ol’ Ridor.

(Note: Daily News’ Headline is in reference to Elton John’s “Candle in the Wind,” originally written for Marilyn Monroe and then rewritten for Princess Diana at her funeral.)

Bisous,
Der Sankt

PS cross posted at http://dersanktpics.blogspot.com

Library of Congress’s Philosophy

First of all, I have to mention something tragic that happened yesterday afternoon: the passing of Anna Nicole Smith. The truth be told, I’ve watched her show and enjoyed it tremendously. It is kind of hard to believe that she’s gone. Ah well.

 Now for the real thing, which blog/vlog inspired my topic of this entry? The winner is…Carl Schroeder (insert applause here) for his vlog post on Gallaudet and the quote in the Library of Congress. In his vlog, he videotapes the name “Gallaudet” etched on a wall in the Library of Congress then progressed to tape a quote etched on a wall in another side of the room saying:

“Give instruction unto those who cannot procure it for themselves.”

Then the camera rolled into Carl Schroeder and at that point, he gave his interpretation of the quote. For those who were not able to understand ASL (because his vlog–which was not in artistic but informative manner–was not captioned, I took the liberty to translate his ASL into English. Note that this is my translation without the evaluation and approval of Carl Schroeder).

“Hello! This is the Library of Congress, in this room, you can see the name: ‘Gallaudet.’ Also, I want to show you something else.

<camera shows the quote>.

Deaf people out there who can’t help themselves–I have to help you guys. That is the mentality of the Library of Congress, here.”

These are, basically, his words in English translation. First thing first, the quote was not specifically about the Deaf people and nowhere in it does it say “help them.” Okay, what the quote really said was this: “If you see someone who can’t help themselves then teach them, show them how.” This in itself is a powerful philosophy–a fitting one for a Library! Everything you need to know is probably in that place (that or the Vatican, lol). Personally, I think it is a fitting and proper honor for Gallaudet to be on these walls with the other names.

Gallaudet saw Alice Cogswell and realized she couldn’t help herself. Alice couldn’t hear; therefore, she couldn’t communicate. She didn’t have a language (unless someone who knew sign language was around, she was shit out of luck) which meant she probably couldn’t get an education.

Thomas Gallaudet did not take care of her like a retard or dismissed her as hopeless–should be in an asylum kind of thinking. No, he went to France and brought back Laurent Clerc. In this action, Gallaudet “gave instruction to those (the Deaf) who couldn’t procure it (a language, education, etc) themselves.” Perfect story, perfect match.

Now we have Deaf schools and a University, American Sign Language (now gaining recognition in the linguistic field as a real language) and the truth be told, we didn’t procure it ourselves.

we had help.

 Bisous,

Der Sankt

PS how’s the font today?

Defining Literacy

            Another entry today—how interesting. I’m sure some of you are getting tired of my rambles. Always playing the Devil’s advocate. The poor blog under attack today belongs to Michael and Kimberly Clegg. Their entry today was called, “VLOG = Literacy?” Michael discussed that having many vlogs out there promotes the literacy of ASL and encourages it to be a true language equivalent to English. (Before I begin–kudos to Mike and Kim for starting their first vlog! keep it up).

           

There’s one important word one needs to be aware about: literacy. That word has nothing to do with spoken languages, really. Literacy is a measurement of how well can a person read and write. It is possible to speak fluent English; but, still, cannot neither read nor write. That’s one advantage English has over American Sign Language—English has taken on a written form.

For ASL to evolve into a much more stable and not so ever changing, it needs to be written down.

It’s not that I favor the English language over ASL or whatever. They both get equal respect from me and will continue to do so until I’ve passed away. Perhaps, if God is willing, and beyond my death. English is exactly like American Sign Language—Beowulf was an orally passed down through generations before it was finally documented. The transformation of English as the vernacular slowed down significantly since the introduction of the written form.

What am I talking about? Maybe the written form isn’t important to ASL because it doesn’t follow the same formula as English and many other languages. Indeed, it is true, ASL is not linear language like most others, it is spatial; however, ASL is a language just like any other, and it is no exception. Try reading “Beowulf” in its original form, then Chaucer then Shakespeare then anything modern. One will see that English went through tremendous changes from Beowulf to Shakespeare. On the other hand, from Shakespeare to now, not much has changed.

Why?

Literacy rates. Before then, reading was a privilege reserved for royalty, intellectuals, and religious figures. The rest of the world didn’t find the need to read. What for? Most of them had to work in the fields (think American slavery—why didn’t Masters want slaves to read?). A few things happened, Europe decided to go through the Renaissance and Religious Reformation. The little people now wanted to read because they’ve been told that the Catholics weren’t following the bible correctly.

King James decides to write the first Bible for the general public.

All of a sudden, it is now a duty for citizens to read the word of God. That’s how you show your faith (something that is happening now in the Arabic world—research has proven that in spite of their poverty/primitiveness due to the damages of wars and etc, that the Arabic countries have one of the highest literacy rates in the world. Just about two percent cannot read. Think: Koran). These little things put English in stone alongside with the Egyptians’ Hieroglyphics, the Greeks’ Greek, and Latin (I’m sure there’s a few more I should mention here but…). But, seriously, let’s keep this short.

Until ASL has taken on a written form—vlogs are not tools of literacy. Some might argue with me and say vlogs are like little articles in newspapers etc. That is not so. Vlogs are comparable to audio books, music CDs, and so forth. Just because people listen to audio books, CDs, etc does not make them literate, no. They also have to learn to read and write—speaking the language alone does not make them literate.

If that goes for English, French, Spanish, Russian, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Indian, Thai, and on and on, the same goes for our own sweet American Sign Language.

Bisous,

Der Sankt

Do we know what a blog is?

I was reading blogs on Deafread.com and came across Mike McConnell’s blog entry about the Blogger/Vlogger conference at Gallaudet University and there was something he said that I found a bit offensive: “Do students know even how to blog? Do they even know what a blog/vlog is?”

What?

You’re saying kids like me, of my own generation, wouldn’t know what a blog is? This is the time for myspace, flickr, xanga, livejournal, blogger, and so many more. Children in elementary school today know how to use a cell phone better than their parents. And you ask, “Do students know even how to blog? Do they even know what a blog/vlog is?” I still don’t get it.

 I can understand why there was a lack of students at the conference; although, it might have took place at the heart of the University–the conference was never about them to begin with. Now, let’s think about it this way, the blogosphere exploded into the Deaf community during the protests at Gallaudet. The reason for this? Gallaudet is the core of the international Deaf community. Bloggers/Vloggers need to remember that the students were the ones who started the protests. The students were the cause of the effect which blogosphere exploded.

At Gallaudet, the students did not need to get online and look up what was going on. Nearly all of them had access to a pager or a mobile phone which enabled information to be passed around quicker than the blink of an eye. I photographed the incident where a visitor threw an apple through a window the night students decided to invade College Hall. Word about that incident got around within minutes–GUFSSA was already at damage control mode, things were being cleared up. Then I made my post nearly 4am–about an hour and half after the incident; also, Ridor made his post at 6:20am. By that time, the students could go see the broken window for themselves–also, the following afternoon of the same day, the window was replaced. This was on the blogs–students didnt read it simply because they were already on the scene.

Generally, the blogs out there about Deaf people and/or issues usually do not have much significance upon the students. It’s pretty much the same principle as to why college students don’t really show interest in politics–it’s hard for them to be concerned about issues that they’re not interested in. So, what are the students interested in? Life, experience, people, friends, and all that–think back to when you were a college student. I’m sure you didn’t think beyond the issues that were directly affecting you at that time.

Your friends, who slept with who? Where to get the pot and/or the alcohol? Which stores do not ID students and which stores do–How about this? Which house party has more kegs? Which is cheaper? Who’s going to be there and what kind of beer? It’s all about how the students relate to the issues at hand.

Blogging/Vlogging Styles:

A lot of the blogs out there does not accomodate well with their target audiences. For example–you want Gallaudet audience, you have to find out what they read. Most of them like to read People, US weekly, etc. Personally, I prefer Vanity Fair and New Yorker over these junk–therefore, most bloggers out there fits my style better than they do with the students. I don’t expect them to read my blog. Especially this entry–I’ve rambled on too long.

There’s a blogger I’d like to mention: Ridor. He is one of the notorious Deaf bloggers there is, if not “the.” What he does is, he writes briefly–his entries can be read in five minutes. He, also, includes several issues at one entry–broadening his readership. Now, his target audience is the Deaf/Gallaudet community. In his entries, he talks about people (not necessarily appropriate at all times), he preserves the shock value of it. For the most part, his blog entries doesn’t require much thinking from the readers, does not require the readers to be formal. Many blogs are too formal…Those little things that he does on his blog–attracts the best of the best.

whether we agree with him or not.

Let’s go back to what students read again: US weekly, People, etc. These magazines are full of photographs of people doing personal stuff–if not scandalous. There are only what two or three sentences to a picture. “Britney so drunk she stumbles out of her rolls-royce, almost passing out,” says a close source. And there’s a picture emblazoned across the page with a censor blur around the groin area. Who cares what kind of drinks she had or that the bar was responsible for giving her more and more drinks when she didnt need any?

No.

That drunken bitch rolls out of her RR showing off her pussy to the world!

That’s all the readers want to know. Ridor provides that. do you?

Which am I? Deaf or Hearing?

I’ve read an interesting blog entry by Angie about her kid’s level of hearing. I can totally relate to that, seriously. Honestly, I have a mild hearing loss—I’m capable of hearing things at an almost normal level. With hearing aids, I wouldn’t be surprised if I hear normally.

But there is something I’d like to point out here, the main difference, my parents are Deaf. There is a different kind of reaction on the other end of the spectrum. When my parents found out that I was not Deaf at my birth, my parents made it a point to the hearing members of the family that I was to learn American Sign Language first.

No speaking to the baby.

Later on in my life, they found out that I wasn’t completely hearing—not deaf, hard of hearing. My parents were, of course, thrilled because that meant no matter how much the hearing members of the family spoke to me, my primary language will be the one they’re most comfortable with.

I grew up in a Deaf school about four hours away from home. In a Deaf environment, being able to hear and speak (as if I were a normal hearing person, that is) was, if not still, not highly regarded. Luckily for me, my fluency in ASL was enough to hide the fact that I could hear. A lot. Growing up, I was able to avoid the stigma of being a “hearie-wannabe.”

Now my roommate and I talk about it and we’ve agreed that if my parents were hearing, I would barely speak ASL and function normally in a hearing world. Yep, that is true; but, that’s not what happened.

Just how much can I hear? Let me give you an example: I have a friend from way back—back when I was in eighth grade—I met him at Regional Academic Bowl. He played for Model Secondary School for the Deaf and I played forVirginia School for the Deaf—this was years ago, my friends. Anyway, he came to visit me here in New York about a year ago and at one point, I had to answer my cell phone. My ex, I think, I don’t really remember.

What I do remember was him telling me after I’ve hung up: “I didn’t know you could hear.”

 

He and I were friends for more than 5 years at that point, almost a decade perhaps. And he didn’t know.

Also, I do have some friends who are hearing and goes out telling their hearing friends that I am not really Deaf—just faking it. “He can hear!” he would scream, glaring at me for acting like I’m totally Deaf and incapable of speaking. What bothers him is that he calls me on the phone all the time, he knows.

So do I.

 

What nobody seems to understand is that, yes, I can hear; but, I don’t necessarily understand everything that I hear. For example, when I’m with my hearing friends, for the most part, I know they are talking. I hear them. With really good friends, this happens less, but in general, my brain hasn’t had a “visual picture” of how you say the words. I hear them.

It could mean anything. I have to understand you first, see how your lips move, how your face looks before I can turn my head away and understand what you’re saying. Sometimes, I just can’t hear. Like the letter “s,” it is the only letter in the alphabet that does not require the use of vocal chords—“s” with voice becomes “z.” I can hear every other letter of the English alphabet except that one.

Sometimes, people seem to forget how often “s” is used in the language. Think “church,” I hear only “hurs.” I heard it. Does that make me hearing? Can I really hear that well if I only got 60% of the word? I hear cars, yep. Usually when they’re ten yards away. Too close for comfort, if you ask me. As for the subway, I feel the wind before I hear the train, that’s how I know it’s coming just about when the hearing people do.

When people talk, I turn my head because I heard them. What I did not know was who/what made the noise? If someone said something, what did they say? Is that someone a guy or a girl? It’s like my ears get a little part of the puzzle, then my eyes compensate and completes the puzzle. Now, my Deaf counterparts aren’t much better off, either. Some of them expects me to interpret for them now that they’ve discovered I can hear. “Go talk tell him I want this and that,” they would plead with me. “Easier and faster than write, comeon!” They don’t hear enough to understand how much I can’t hear.

Usually being able to talk on the phone constitute as “hearing” enough to be “hearing” person in both worlds. That is a strange but one common standard both communities have; whether that is a good thing or not, I don’t know. Let’s think about it this way–I can talk on the phone without a hearing aid, communicate with hearing people almost normally, does that make me hearing? Because I miss some things, it’s okay. I’m still hearing? How about this–I was born and raised by Deaf parents. ASL is my first language. I was a student at Virginia School for the Deaf in Staunton, Model Secondary School for the Deaf in DC, and Gallaudet University. I’ve had SSI and VR support, does that make me Deaf? Which one am I really?

 

For the most part, my solution is simply this: keep the two worlds separate. My hearing friends will understand to speak louder and look at me when I’m around. They almost never see me use ASL. Then I have my Deaf friends, the ones who almost never see me speak. Where my ASL pretends to make me totally and truly Deaf. Attached with American Sign Language is a rich culture of people, history, life and experiences, standards, norms and so forth. The same goes for English.

It’s hard trying to be the only bridge between the two.

My hearing friends think I’m hearing with a little bit loss. My Deaf friends think I’m 100% bona-fide Deaf. It’s easier for them to think in these terms, and I let them.

 

Bisous,

Der Sankt

My first written blog entry

I’m going to do this one more time. I used to have a blog, a few of them as a matter of fact. Maintaining them was never my forté; largely due to my lack of self-discipline. My photoblog, on the other hand, seems to be on stable ground–nowhere near abandoment. So, I guess I don’t have a problem with commitiment. Kinda.

So, I’m going to try this again.

What got me into this? Well, you see–I like reading other people’s blogs and I’ve, on several occassions, felt compelled to write something in response and the comments section did not feel right for that kind of writing. I’ve done guest entry on someone else’s blog and I’ve concluded that I can’t keep doing that. My photoblog, however, remains untainted; but, I wasn’t sure if I could maintain a written kind of blog.

Then something happened.

I was reading Ridor’s blog entry about the new device–a communication device and I came across their blog (more on that in the next entry). In order to make a comment on their blog, I had to be a member of WordPress. Okay.

Why not?

This blog was born–Now that I’ve entered the blogosphere–I don’t mean to try to compete with the bigger (and better) bloggers. My passion is in photography; so, check out my photoblog and say something nice.

http://dersanktpics.blogspot.com

However, I digress, this is my space for my two-cents that has no place in my photoblog. C’est tout, mes amis, et rien plus!

Bisous,

Der Sankt